everyone is gay: "Any advice on surviving Valentine's Day when you're single as heck (like me)?"
-Question submitted by Whateverittakestobreakyou
Dannielle Says:
I remember being in college and being single during MOST Valentine’s Days. I had some friends who were like ‘WOOOOOOOO SINGLES AWARENESS DAYS WOOOOO’ and some friends who went out with their boos and some friends who literally forgot the day existed. People, FOR SOME REASON, feel like they’re going to disintegrate if they don’t have a boo on Valentine’s Day but YALL COME ON.
If you are single on <3Day and you are really really really really sad about it, you should stay in, bc couples will be eating chocolate, making out, drinking champagne and getting into awkward fights in public all over your city and if it’s gonna make you cry, you should stay home and watch 13 GOING ON 30 whilst eating a personal pan pizza and sobbing into your chocolate milk.
If you are single on <3Day and you don’t care, you should go about your business. Watch reruns of FRIENDS whilst eating a personal pan pizza and laughing into your chocolate milk.
It’s just a day yall, hang out with friends, eat candies, laugh at dumb things, and move on… or buy a cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber and have a really romantic date, take lots of pictures, put them on Facebook, and tell everyone your date was the cutest.
Kristin Says:
Step by step plan:
1. Remind yourself that this is a holiday that is centered around a naked baby angel shooting bows into people.
2. Realize that shooting bows into people is only cool when Katniss does it.
3. If you don’t know what I am talking about, stop reading this post and go and get The Hunger Games and read it.
4. If you are still here with me because you know who Katniss is, then you should be pretty happy already because she RULES and that bitch could give two shits about Valentine’s Day, because she is busy KICKING SO MUCH ASS.
5. If you are still sad, then it is now your job to go out, find a cardboard cutout of someone, just like Dannielle said, and post your Fake But Totally Hilarious Valentine’s Date Picture to our Facebook page. Here’s mine, y’all:
This is the best Valentine’s Day post I’ve read.
1. Hunger Games
2. Uncle Snoop
